User blog:Wikidude135/Re-Written ERB: Barack Obama VS Mitt Romeny
This is a already existing battle with minor tweaks by me. Epic Rap Battles of History! Mitt Romney! VS! Barack Obama! Begin! Romney: I'm not gonna let this battle be dictated by facts! I'm rich! I got fat stacks and Super PACs! We all know what went down in that 2008 election! You're a decent politician with a winning complexion. You're all Barack and no bite! Been no change and we're all still hoping, That you'll shut your mouth But like Guantanamo Bay they're both open. You're from the windy city where you're looking pretty with your blowhards. But come January, you'll be left evicted and with no job. Raw rhymes stronger than my jaw line when I spit a phrase! Knocking you harder than front doors in my old mission days! You see this silver spoon? This dug Mass out of debt! Took you four years to drop unemployment down below 8%. You feel that Barry? You're old news, everyone's having doubts. And your rhymes are as weak as this economy that you've done nothing about! Call me a vicious businessman cause Romney's stealing this race! I'll go Bain Capital on your donkey ass, restructure your face! Obama: They say your father was a great man, you must be what's left. Need to stop hating on gays, let 'em teach you how to dress. You've got the momma jeans, and a Mister Fantastic face. So rich and white it's like I'm running against a cheesecake! Republicans need a puppet and you fit. Got their hands so far up your rear, call you Mitt. I'm the head of state, you're like a head of cabbage. 'Bout to get smacked by my stimulus package! You're a bad man with no chance, you can't even touch me. I got four more years (2 turns!) in the White House, just trust me. I hoped you saved your best rhymes for the second half. Cause right now, I'm only 47% through kicking your ass! Romney: Whatever! that 40% thing got you real mad. What, did it remind you how many decent parents you had? Obama: Uh, look, I respect all religions, uh, but it might get crazy. If the White House has a first, second, and a third lady! Romney: Ha, don't bring up wives, man, what are you doing? You got hitched to the female version of Patrick Ewing! Obama: Uh, let me be clear, uh, don't get it twisted. We'll see how pretty your face is after my fist has kissed it! Romney: (Mumbling) You're a stuttering communist! Obama: Well, uh, uh, You’re stupid. Romney: You're stupid! Obama: Nuh-uh! Romney: Errggg! Obama: Errggg! (Cawwww!) Lincoln: Are you fucking kidding me with this blah blah blah!? I've half a mind to feed you both to my oversized- (Cawwww!) You! I really wanna like you! Don't talk about change, just do it! I fought for what was on my brain until a bullet went through it! Ha!) And you, moneybags, you're a pancake, you're flip-floppity It's a country, not a company you can play like Monopoly! I'll properly reach across the aisle and bitch-smack you as equals! Of the people! (Slap) By the people! (Slap) For the people! Eagle! WAAA-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! Category:Blog posts